Nature's Way

October 12, 2010


When a friend or family member announces that they're pregnant, it takes ALL OF MY STRENGTH not to say. 'of course you're pregnant. After all, it is natures way.' (And then have myself a strong drink)

My kids deserve a chance to be alive too. And I'll do everything in my power to give them that opportunity.

3 comments:

  1. I always say, "Oh wow! That's so great!" And then wonder if my face betrayed my actual bitter feelings... heh...

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  2. I have been reading your blogs for hours now. It started on Pinterest. I was looking at your headboard tutorial. I found the infertility section. I haven't stopped reading since...or crying. Thank you for your story and your strength.
    I, like you, have only one dream in my life; to have many babies. As a 19 year old I got pregnant. Not having a relationship with God at the time I (after 3 months of deliberation) had an abortion (something that I now regret immensely). A few years down the road, I am married and pregnant with our child. In November of 2010 we have a beautiful baby boy, Finn RiLee. And now we are struggling to have another.
    On May 6, 2012 I miscarried at 1 day away from 11 weeks. I have been destroyed ever since. Obsessed with getting pregnant and having another child. I managed to get pregnant in Oct. only to miscarry two days later. Now we aren’t getting pregnant. I know the feeling deep down, that you described having, knowing that there is something wrong with my body. Ever since the miscarriage I feel different, off. Not just emotionally but physically I know there is something wrong.
    I wonder sometimes if God is punishing me for the abortion, but I know God wouldn’t do that. Especially since I didn’t know Him at the time. I know He has forgiven me for that sin. I also get mad at Him. I know the feeling of distance and stain that you have felt. I feel it too. I love that poem “Wait” by Russell Kefler. Thank you for posting that on the blog. It helped me, at least for the moment, connect closer to God.
    I remember after having the first miscarriage EVERYONE around me was pregnant. I had 22 friends pregnant and giving birth last year. I remember my last straw was when my cousin announced that she was pregnant on FB. I had such a hard time typing that I was happy for her when I didn’t feel happy at all. But then she said the sweetest thing, “Thank you sweet cousin : ) Keeping an eye out for some news from you guys ; )” She was looking out for me, remembering my struggle in the midst of her joy. That touched my heart, I broke down, I still despised all pregnant women but I knew it wasn’t personally aimed at me.
    Thank you soo much for sharing your story you are giving me strength though my sadness.
    Shardae Collins (finncollins09@hotmail.com)

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    Replies
    1. Shardae, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. Your honesty is SO touching. I hope you get your happy ending too. Don't be afraid to seek help. It's not as scary as it looks... and it's SO worth it. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.

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